Kik: JordanXTC



People look down on McDonald’s employees but fail to realize that if all these folks left McDonald’s and pursued “better careers”  your ass wouldn’t be able to get a McDouble with an Oreo McFlurry at 3am. 

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

also see:

maids, waitresses, janitors, garbage collectors, and construction workers.

(via noimjustkiddin)

I want a girl who will fight for me


Someone who isn’t afraid of sending another text if I don’t respond, calling me if she thinks something’s wrong, or telling me straight up how she really feels even when she’s unsure if it’s mutual. I want someone to genuinely give a shit about me and show me what it’s like to be treated right, for once.

(Source: skwagger, via noimjustkiddin)


I hope when you die you get to see your stats like how many times you laughed or told a lie or kissed or how many people loved you and how many people hated you and what you meant to people

(via pizza)

Anonymous asked: Awh! How did you meet this lil lad!

We used to live in the same town, actually! Don’t get too excited, anon. Nothing will come of it; im almost positive. 



Life Hack #53957
How to give a blowjob (to a giant penis)
By tumblr user moistbottom

I almost didn’t press play

(via pizza)

Anonymous asked: Ah, tell me about this crush of yours.

Hm, she’s super sweet, really gorgeous. Dark, twisty, mysterious. A really awful texter. She has some witchy powers going on.